With a heaping dose of “health and safety hypersensitivity”, any family trip or neighborhood party can turn into a boring, slow stump-a-thon. This grill is too hot, keep the kids away. How deep is this pool? This popcorn is a choking hazard, enjoy some celery soup with your movie. Sometimes you have to live a little. But not with these products. The items listed below will burn you, choke you or poke your eyes out in a second. Enjoy.
10. Norodin A.K.A Speed
Who does not love meth? Many satisfied customers around the world use this miracle drug to increase their “Vim” and “Pep” before they get into the usual types of activities people like; robbery, prostitution, and declaring themselves the Messiah while naked in a public pool.
In the past, people have actually been able to buy methamphetamines legally. One brand called Version of the drug was Norodin, marketed to women who wanted to lose weight. Speed was everywhere. On Pan Am flights in the 1940s, you could even get an amphetamine inhaler, along with a large scotch and the chicken dinner. That’s just what you want on a long-distance flight across the pond – a meth head in the middle seat. Speed was popular until a number of high-profile criminal cases around the world pointed to the abuse of these narcotics as a factor. The business shifted from pharmacist control to your friendly, local drug kingpins, bringing a touch of homemade and rustic meth.
9. A Lot Of Stuff Made By The A.C. Gilbert Company
This company made some pretty cool toys. They also made some of the most dangerous “toys” that a child could ever have the misfortune to play with. Small cuts, minor scalds, choking and stabbing injuries are very common and have always been common in children’s toys. But radiation poisoning? A.C. Gilbert was a multi-talented inventor, but he really pushed the boat into innovative ways to seriously mutilate children.
The ‘Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab’ allowed her budding Einstein to play around with various uranium minerals that produced gamma, alpha, and beta radiation. Fun! Gilbert also produced a glass-blowing kit for kids (probably so they could participate in the most disfiguring pea-shooter game of all time) and a chemistry kit containing a pile of sodium cyanide just in case Lil’ Bobby Jr. wanted to dump the Russian agent next door. Or make yourself a really horrible milkshake.
8. 1920’s Hair Removal
Waxing, shaving, epilating, and laser treatments are the way modern boys and girls use to remove those annoying stray hairs in problem areas. How did the ladies of the 1920s do it? X-rays. I’m not shitting you a bit, guys. X-rays.
The “Tricho” machines that were once relatively commonplace in beauty salons in the U.S. were machines that concentrated doses of X-rays on the cheeks and upper lip of customers. This would induce permanent hair removal after more than 15 treatments per year. And malignant carcinomas. Possibly death. Given that hair removal beauty regimes are more common for men today, you may be curious if this could only be dangerous for ladies in the 1920s.
Amazing! the march of progress, scientific developments, am I right? Well, sir, the next time you break your arm, DO NOT ask if the guy or girl who heads for the X-ray machine will do your back, sack, and crack. You’ll get rid of that hair, but gain some tumors.
7. The Empire Little Lady Stove
We have all read about the dangers of the once popular children ‘Easy Bake Oven’. This popular mini bake oven allowed children to play kitchen for real. But for every hundred or so beautifully browned jam tarts, you’ll end up burning yourself (we were all there. Damn spun sugar, it’s basically napalm). If you scale it down and allow small children to do the same, ask for a trip to the burn unit with little Jinny or Jimmy. Imagine if your children’s toy oven could reach temperatures that exceed your own full-size pot. That would be the Empire Little Lady Stove.
Modern stoves reach a temperature of about 550 degrees Fahrenheit before a mechanism clicks to turn the stove off so it won’t burn down the house. This toy for children could reach temperatures of 600 degrees Fahrenheit. That is just hot enough to bake some nice chocolate chip cookies in 35 seconds. Ah, easier times.
6. The Zulu Blowgun Game
Zulu warriors used a variety of deadly weapons when they went to war. But not blowguns. For the makers of this wonderfully safety-conscious game, that didn’t matter. Uncertain and tone-deaf, a game made in hell!
This crazy game included a blowgun, paper targets, and metal tilt darts. So, a real gun then. This is the equivalent of giving a child a loaded Glock 17 and calling it a “new shooting game” without any training. Got it, kid. Gotta learn to LARP at some point.
5. Incredibly Inflammable Clothes
In the words of the well-known physician Dr. Nick Riviera, “Inflammatory means inflammatory? What a country!” As soon as you get the definitions straight, you can now venture out into the world and realize that a wire wool jacket may not be the best garment you can wear in the 9V battery factory. Victorian ladies had a lot of incredibly easy to burn fabrics to choose from in a world that still uses candles and gas-powered flames for light. Muslin, gauze, all the open woven cotton fabrics for dresses were a bit like wearing a skirt made of match heads. One of the craziest fabrics was flannelette.
The coronary of the city of Manchester, England, did best when he was interviewed for a local newspaper in 1898:
He stated that he had “conducted several investigations into children who had been burned to death because they had played with fire in one way or another. Mr. Smelt said there had been seven such deaths in a week that he had had to deal with, and he attributed this to the cold weather we had recently experienced. Children would go near fires to get warm, so parents were told to keep a close eye on them. They should also avoid dressing them in flannelette, which was almost as dangerous when touched with fire as gunpowder. Nevertheless, these clothes looked pretty.
4. Roman Blinds
Some of these entries seem to cover the danger for children. The toys will of course be very child-friendly, but window paneling? You better believe it. These more imaginative looking roller blinds are almost impossible to get in the USA today, at least with the traditional pull cords.
You may think this is public safety running amok, perhaps some crazy attempt to avoid lawsuits based on 1 or 2 children getting friction burns or switching in the eye. But according to data collected in 2015, more than 200 child deaths could be attributed to pull cords on window paneling. Huge retailers like Target and IKEA have now removed them from their shelves. Fair enough then.
3. Agene-Treated Flour
White bread had precipitated until the advent of leaven and malted tin loaves with a honey glaze with mixed seeds. The whiter the bread, the better. When mass production and higher wages began to take hold at the turn of the century, the demand for good bread increased. How could bakers make shiny, bright white loves that consumers wanted?
It’s all in the milling process. The whiter the flour, the whiter the bread. So they bleached the flour, artificially lightening the bread, the process got better and better until you could buy a loaf whiter than Casper, the depraved spirit of kindness. One chemical that was frequently used was nitrogen trichloride, or Agen. In 1949 it was discovered that this process did not produce flour that was safe for human consumption. Agene treated flour caused neurological disorders. How was this discovered? Agene flour was also used in the production of dog cookies, the dogs consumed them and showed signs of hysteria. Hysterical dogs – always a dead giveaway that something is not quite right.
2. Samsung Galaxy Note 7
This phone blasted onto the market in August of 2016, becoming the latest hot property produced by South Korean tech juggernaut Samsung. It caused an explosion of excitement for users… before causing actual explosions due to faulty batteries.
First, the newly released Note 7s would go boom. Samsung told consumers that they could trade in their recently purchased faulty phones for a new, far less explosive one. The problem was that these new improved phones also tended to overheat and blow up. This led to Samsung pulling the plug. Alongside the many hundreds of disappointed consumers whose new devices had combusted, Samsung took a bit of heat too—to the tune of around $17 billion in lost revenue. Ouch!
1. Any Car Before The 90s
When you look at car accident photos from the past (if you’re that inclined), you wonder why someone would buy a car back then. They were death machines.
Every gasoline-powered car, especially stateside, knows about the infamous Ford Pinto (available 1971-1980) with its ingenious design innovation – the fuel tank was right next to the bumper at the rear of the car, making even the slightest bump on the back of the Pinto a potentially explosive crash. How does it look even further back in time? Well, the amazing Briggs & Stratton Flyer, perhaps the cheapest car ever made, was essentially a go-kart made primarily of wood. It had no doors. No windshield. No security technology. Looks funny until you consider that the mere addition of a scarf to your driving clothes pretty much guarantees that you will lose your head.
Speaking of gruesome deaths caused by car accidents, here is a fun fact for all classic car collectors. If you drive a car built before 1968, the steering column is not collapsible. So what? Well, if you get into a prang, the waist belt (no chance you don’t have a 3-point safety belt) won’t stop you from being impaled on the fixed steering column. Even popular, iconic classic cars are incredibly unsafe. Say you fancy a Marty McFly and buy a DeLorean. You’ll look cool as hell… …until some Jackass takes you on and you wave. Which you’ll tip over. Then you’ll be buried in a metal sarcophagus, facing certain death. Why? These cool-as-balls seagull wings can’t open when the car is upside down. Bet you wish you’d done it with your teenage mom instead of… “Great Scott!”